I'm So Tired, Jack
by NinjaEnchantress13
Summary: Kim has had enough. She is tired of people looking at her and seeing only what they want to see. She's tired of trying to be perfect. Most of all, she's tired of waiting for someone to love her. So she decides to end it all, but can Jack change her mind before it's too late?


**Hey, everyone! This is my first one-shot. I wanted to try something different. Let me know what you think. If love it, I'm glad and thank you so much. If you hate it, more power to you and good for you for having an opinion. Either way you still have to review. (The setting in this story is a park in New York, just because I need somewhere cold.)Enjoy...**

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I started at the water five feet below me. It was so wild and free and unconcerned. It hurtled past me and towards the darkness and past even that, not burdened by worry or trouble. The railing of the bridge was cold under my hands as I gripped it tight enough to turn my knuckles as white as the snow under my boots. Instead of shying away from the coldness, though, I embraced the biting sensation that ran up my arms and spread throughout my body.

I had already thrown my gloves and hat into the water, now my scarf, jacket, boots, and socks followed. I stood there in the snow, watching the bright-colored fabric bob and weave in the water before disappearing completely.

I don't know how long I stood there, but I realized, eventually, that although I was in only a tank top and shorts, I was getting warm. _No!_ I screamed in my head. I _needed_ the cold. I craved it and the mind-numbing pain it brought.

I sat down in the snow, covering my bare feet and legs and arms in it as if it were sand. I sighed in content. But sure enough, inevitably, I was warm again. I wanted to scream. _Why? Why couldn't I have even this? _Instead, I stood up and brushed some snow out of my long, blonde hair, thinking.

Suddenly, I knew the answer: I had to jump. The water would be cold. I could see bits of ice floating and on the currents. When the light from the rapidly vanishing sun hit them, they would wink up at me. They shimmered and mocked me, just like everyone else.

I grabbed the railing again. I was so tired and my head hurt. I was going to do it. I counted silently to myself. One…_I would be away from all of this_. Two…_no more worries or problems_. Three… "Kim!"

Startled, I looked up. Jack was sprinting towards me. Flying and skidding on the icy grass and pebbled steps that led to the bridge.

"Bye," I whisper. I pull myself onto the railing and lower myself over the other side. I get ready to jump.

Then, someone grabs my hand. The heat was is intense that I forget everything and let go of the railing. Now I dangle above the water by one hand.

"Jack?" I look up at him and take in his panicked face.

"Kim, give me your other hand!" He yells.

"Why?" All I could focus on was his hand, the one holding mine. It was so hot. "You're burning me! Stop!" I tried to make him let go.

"Please, Kim!" he begs. I could never say no to him, but this time was different. He was so warm. With my free hand I grab the bars that continued off the railing until they trailed almost in the water and tugged the other one loose.

"What do you want, Jack?" I ask, confused.

"Kim, you need to come with me inside," he tries to touch my hand, but I flinched away from him and slipped down a few inches. Jack backed up.

"You burn!" I yelled accusingly at him. _Wait, who was I talking to?_ _Oh, Jack._ My mind is a little fuzzy and I am tired. I slipp a few more inches without noticing.

"You aren't thinking strait! You too cold!" He yells down at me.

I smile, though. "I like the cold! It makes me happy!" I call to him. "I'm going now, okay, Jack?"

"No!" He begs, and now tears are streaming down his cheeks. "Why?"

Now I'm crying. Because the reason why is the one thing that is crystal clear in my mind. The one thing I'm not too tired to think about. "No one loves me!" I tell him.

"What?" The wind is picking up and he has to shout to be heard. "Kim, that's crazy!" He tries to come closer, but I scoot away from him and slip a little more.

"It's true!" I scream. I look down at the water and let myself slip down a few more inches. So close. I almost let go, then and there, but Jack keeps talking. I wish he would stop so I could leave, my head hurts.

"What about your parents?"

I feel a pang, " They're dead! They died in a car crash five years ago. I live with my uncle! He doesn't care about me! All he cares about is his girlfriend and his alcohol!"

"Oh, my gosh, Kim." I almost can't hear him. "I- You never told me that!"

Now I was yelling at him. "You never asked! You never noticed! It's been two years Jack! Two years exactly since you moved here and you never cared! No one did! You wanted perfect Kim Crawford! Pretty, worry-free, 'one-of-the-guys', southern-belle Kim! And so did everyone else!"

"That's not true!" He protests, but I ignore him.

"I don't have any real friends! The guys just think I'm pretty and none of the girls like me! The Black Dragons make my life miserable!

"And Ricky, he just used me and Brody never cared! He hated the idea of being my boyfriend so much that he couldn't pretend for a week! I have never had a real boyfriend before, Jack! I always waited and hoped that you would ask me to be your girlfriend, but all you noticed was Donna-freaking-Tobin!

"I thought you were different! But you aren't! I thought you would notice something, _anything_... me. But you didn't! You're an idiot like everyone else and I'm done!" I look at him, "I'm just so tired, Jack." I took a deep breath and began letting go.

"Mississippi!" He yelled.

I was so surprised, I froze, "What?"

"You're from Mississippi and it's your favorite place on earth and the day we met the apple I caught was red. You love gymnastics and singing and bowling and karate. You could beat up ten guys twice your size without breaking a sweat. You bite your lip when you're nervous and you love dancing even though you stink. You are amazing and talented and loyal, and amazing." He stopped and took a breath. "But most importantly, you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I love you!"

I dodn't know what to do, I look up at him and down at the water. I have slipped so far down that if I stretched I could probably dip my toes in. "I'm just so tired, Jack." I slipped an inch and the water brushed at my ankles. Lapped at them and numbed them and consumed them and made me feel tired. It promised to take everything away, but Jack promised things that I had never had.

"Kim," Jack stretched out his hand, this time careful not to touch me. "I love you. Please." And he wasn't aloof, strong, invincible Jack. He was open and caring and his eyes were like melted chocolate and were filled with tears and he loved me.

I slowly, slowly let go of the railing with my right hand and for a moment, almost let go all together. My fatigue pulling at me and the water called. Instead, my hand found Jack's and he pulled me up and over the railing faster than I could blink.

Then, he smothered me in a hug. "Don't ever do that to me again!" he said, but froze and looked at me when I shrugged him off. Because I couldn't hug him or even leave this spot until I knew.

"Jack, do you really love me or did you just say that so I wouldn't let go?"

"Of course I love you!" He didn't hesitate. He tried to hug me again, but again I pushed him away.

"Do you love Kim Crawford or do you love _me_?" I needed to know. More than I needed anything. More than air.

This time he pauses, confused. "Do you love her or me?" I ask again. This time he understands.

"I love _you_, not the perfect Kim Crawford everyone else knows. I love the Kim that's my best friend, that's not perfect all the time, that's mine. I love you."

"Good answer," I said and I gave him a hug. Eventually, we break apart and laugh. He takes off his coat and wraps it around me and we begin walking back inside.

Suddenly, he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder before spinning me around and around. I scream in delight.

"Go faster!" I command and had does. After a while we both fall in the snow laughing, all tangled up with each other.

And then he kisses me and I am warm all over.


End file.
